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I was graded at Aikido last week. It was a nerve racking experiece. i didn't really have a clue whether what i had prepared was on the mark or not, it was all a bit of a mystery.

I went first so that watching other people wouldn't make me lose what bit of confidence I had left. The actual grading flashed by in a bit of a whirl. Felt disappointed at my lack of form, sliding and finese but releaved at not having messed anything up too badly.

This week I got the certificate. It wasn't a big ceronomy or anything, just tagged on to the end of the evening but as I went up to receive it from Sensei I was overcome with emotion.

May be it was just being knacked from a hard work out session, or lack of blood sugar, but something stirred in me about not going to my degree graduation. There was a kind validation, relief, acceptance that i hadn't releasied that I had craved.

 

All this from a grading from white belt to white belt. Expect waterworks if I ever make it to a coloured belt!

 

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